Sunday, June 13, 2010

Things I learn from the movies

(Anyone who doesn't get the sarcasm in this, GTFO)

There are several things I learn from the movies and several conclusion that get from it. Here are those things.

1)Bullets make people fly backwards:
Everytime when you get shot, expect to fly backwards a few feet. The impact that you get is enough to make you feel the air and lift you off the ground. No matter it's a 9mm bullet or .50 callibre, YOU WILL FLY!


Movies I learned this from: Smoking Aces, Kick Ass, Kill Bill 2, Casino Royale

2) The Japanese have will have gushes of blood when wounded:

What I learn from movies is that, whenever you cut a Japanese person's finger, he will gush out blood like a fountain. I have also learned that, the Japanese have more blood than the average person. Why Japanese instead of Asians in general? This is due to the fact that Lucy Liu did not bleed as much as her Japanese counterpart in Kill Bill Volume 1. The American's blood do not squirt out like Japanese do.



Movies I learned this from: Tokyo Gore Police, Kill Bill Volume 1, The Machine Girl

3) You can always escape explosions no matter what situations are.

Eventhough the bomb is about to explode in 3 seconds, or 1 minute you can always run away from it. There no need in detonating it as it is useless. Everyone would have the speed of a mustang no matter how heavy you are. So next time, when there is terrorist with a sucide belt on him or an IED or even when Lt. Dan just called in airstrike to nape the whole area, just run. You can always outrun him no matter how athletic that person is. You don't need to have special training. No matter what the odds are: JUST RUN!




Movies I learned this from:Forrest Gump, Kick Ass, The Hurt Locker, Shooter, Predator

4) The black guy dies first (or at least always die) and sorry if this sounds racist

When you go out on an adventure with your black friend, take care of him. Due to the fact that from what I learn in movies, the black guy always dies and most of the time, die first. So take care of your African friends. He may have military training, but he WILL die at the end of the journey.



Movies I learned this from: Friday The 13th, Alien, Predator, Apocalypse Now

5) Last and foremost; DO NOT HAVE PRE-MARITAL SEX:

The reason is you are going to get kill or assaulted. Yes, our parents are right, it's bad for you. If you did it before, avoid it in the future or maybe bring your AR-15 or AK-47 along. Make sure you have your eyes on your rifle. Make sure you hear the noises around you because there is always someone ready to kill you.



Movies I learned this from: Friday The 13th, Grindhouse, Shoot 'Em Up, Scream



Those are the things that I have learnt from movies. I have I have "educated" you with these facts.

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