Comprehending the Universe

I used to study Quantity Surveying but to be honest, I'm not good in it and I lost a huge chunk of interest in it. Now I finished my diploma in it there are some things in the construction industry I will miss but it mostly does not have anything to do with Quantity Surveying. I will miss the goddamn huge cool machines, I will miss the beautiful architecture of majestic buildings but let's be realistic, you don't see shit like that often, even on the job. Mostly you will see a boring piece of machinery, a mundane set of drawings that some architect tried to finish over the weekend, being uninspired. Those beautiful and majestic stuff you see, probably only appeared in Extreme Engineering on the Discovery Channel, cool feats where it more looks like the Quick Build mode in Tropico. Cool stuff like the video below:

Even if I get to work with cool stuff like in QS, at the end of the day, my job is to do the BQ, tender evaluation etc and I'm not interested in those stuff. Leave if to the good and amazing guys out there who understand those objects and has a heart for it. I don't feel that love connection to the construction industry before. Sure, I respect QS out there but I just don't feel me being attached to it like them. Now if I still get QS as my degree after applying after this, I will continue to accept it but I will try to find a way to fall in love with the industry. I used to be in love with the industry when I first started out. Now it just fades away. Most probably the system will shove me back to a Degree in QS.

Who am I to judge? Maybe the universe has plans for me. I hope I can get a degree and make a good living, related to the stuff I love nowadays, like debate, writing etc. Even my friend Paul asked me "Terence, why did you apply for courses that's too far from your original course?" Maybe I'm just being melodramatic, nostalgic today cause I'm in campus library today despite not being a student here. Hanging with my debate friends, having a good time despite them being of different semesters and courses. (Sometimes I feel like quoting something from the sitcom Community because of us constantly gathering in the library, same spot.) I'm back in debate training when I'm supposed to graduate or at least be unproductive at home cause I'm technically "waiting for my results." My passion has moved from construction industry, to debate (and still military stuff, so no worries readers, I will still post military stuff.) Maybe I'm just an immature blockhead who can't make up his mind on what to do as a career. Me, changing lanes will cost me another 4 years of studying. Disturbing, 4 (or 3 years) years spent and yet with a wobbly future.

How's the picture related? It's a drunk "Ghost" from MW2, in a bathtub, while wearing Batman boxers. Kinda like me contemplating. Photo from BeatdownBoogie.com

Let's just see how the universe goes, let's just see. Oh ya, I got Band 5 in MUET today. At least there's something to smile about while contemplating the universes's wave.

Halloween

Let's face it. I'm a Malaysian and I don't celebrate Halloween. In fact if I were to, it's too late. It's already the 1st of November. It's already a Monday. Yes, Monday. Then again, who says I can't watch horror movies to commerate this event. Here's a list of movies I plan to watch the next few days (I've seen most of them anyway, just reliving them):

Hannibal Lectre's psychological horror is what is missing in most of modern day's horror movies

I might attempt to watch the whole series


This is the one that I am yet to see. Is the remake as good as the original? Hope it's good.

Now recently, the tv series "The Walking Dead" just aired it's 1st episode on AMC but in Msia, we don't have AMC yet. I was dying to watch the show and I really2 hope that some local station would actually air it on tv here, uncensored. It will be sad if they have to censor the gore etc. Please, can somebody please play it here!!! (or maybe I'll just resort to torrenting.... sigh....) Fuck censorship.

Being "Normal" is overrated (and just a state of mind).

Last week during Gawai in Saratok, an Aunty of mine sparked up an interesting conversation with a statement of hers. She said that "Schools and university makes us stupid." Mind you, she is an engineer. Her justification is that it confines you to a single idea that is the general consensus of the majority so that the society can keep you aligned with their mode of thinking. It turns you into "normal" people in which people with different opinions get shunned away. They are labelled as stupid or not being able to comprehend "reality" or "truth". People who ask question outside of the norm will be ignored and forced to follow the majority's idea to be deemed normal.

Now, generally school goers and university students tend to fall into the abyss of following and taking what their lecturers say totally. This also includes religious institutions and government controlled media. People swallow the crap given to them without thinking twice. Other opinions are shunned and put to shame, making them labelled as abnormal. We never question as it is in our culture and it is a tabboo. You know what that makes you? A sheep. You are turned into a machine that follows society's rules and regulation. You fall into the abyss where getting a masters is deemed by normal people as an excellent choice careerwise. I have to admit that having a masters, degree or what ever certificate out there helps you get a job in this life but must the society look down onto people who don't have them? Are you looking down onto the people in massage parlors that don't have degrees who probably know more about medicinal benefits of certain items than you degree holders out there. This "normal" conception must be changed in our society.

Our society must have a mental in which we listen to everyone's opinion and allow anyone to question anything because it is the best way for us to progress. Society shouldn't swallow things directly what is thrown at them. I am not teaching you to be paranoid, I am telling you to look what are you putting down you throat before it is encrypted into your brains. Are you willing to go on with what society has to offer just to be deem "normal"? Are you going to stop your dreams of being the 1st person to travel around the world with a boat made out of tin cans (or what ever wild dreams you had when you were a kid)?

Let me tell you a story about a kid who was labelled as abnormal or stupid by his friends.

One day, in a kindergarten, a little boy by the name of Jimmy was colouring a scenery of a clear sky and a scenery of mountains. He questioned his teacher,

"Miss Rebecca, what colour is the sky?"

"Why it's blue my boy. The clouds are white."

"Can I colour it purple?"

Then his friend, Tommy interupted:
"Don't be stupid, the colour of the sky is blue. Face that fact."

Jimmy then replied:
"I don't care, I want to colour it purple."

"Why can't you be like other normal people and colour it blue?"

"You mean colouring it purple will make me not normal? Well, Miss Rebecca, I don't want to be normal like what Jimmy said."

Miss Rebecca then replied "It's up to you."

Class was dismissed and Jimmy continued colouring his scenery with a purple sky and grey clouds. Later that evening, Jimmy and Tommy took a walk at the side of the forrest near the village they lvie in. He points to the sky and the clouds and ask Tommy:

"Tommy, what was the colour of the sky you drew?"

"Blue, why? Don't tell me you colour your sky purple?"

"Well, look at the sky."

The sun was setting and the sky, it actually, was purple. The clouds were grey as it was cloudy, instead of white as what Tommy coloured. Tommy, looked at the sky, dumbfounded.

The question is now, who is stupid, who is smart? Who is normal? Hence, being normal is overrated, it is just a state of mind. Don't dismiss another person's idea as crap the moment you hear them. Maybe that person has a different perspective of life and has his/her own opinion. Don't dismiss a person because he or she knows something from another perspective and tell them they are not normal. Without these "abnormal" people, the world wounldn't advance as there is no one who questions outside the norm of society. Remember, Isaac Newton and Einstein were deemed as stupid at their young age. Not because they were slow learners, but they question a lot in life unlike "normal" people.

PS:Schools/universities should stop using the term subjective question in their exam papers. It makes you look, well, dumb because a real subjective question has no answer but people who mark them have an answer sheet and the answer given must be aligned to the school of thought given in the marking scheme. Subjective questions are meant to be open ended and differs from one person to another.

I'm on a losing streak..............

Okay, I failed my measurement, I failed my driving test recently, what the hell is going wrong with me. It seems like the only thing that I'm doing right is reading comics which brings bassicaly zero benefit. I feel kind-of pissed off but not so pissed off that I actually want to kill someone.

I don't blame my instructor, Cikgu Enal, but I blame myself. I wasn't prepared, I did not have any preparation, I was too nervous and I did not follow the rules. I feel dissapointed with myself.

Now how am I going to handle students for MMS since I'm going to be a PM (Pembantu Mahasiswa). I scared I might be a horrible PM. Pms are supposed to be role models but I am probably the worst role model ever. Sometimes I'm glad that don't have a younger brother but I only have younger sisters because I might fuck up that brother's life.

I hope I will go on a winning streak instead of losing because God, I really need one and I hate losing. I hate being a loser and I hate being looked down upon.

I always try to look for respect among people but my best friend (I honestly wish she was more than that), Aderyn told me that I don't need to look for respect among people. I'm glad that she always comfort me. She always comfort me when I depressed or sad, I'm just glad that I have a friend like that. God bless her life. Amen.

I will try my best to show the best out of me this semester. Life is hard, but that doesn't mean I'm just going fucking give up. I would laugh at my pass failures (but learn from the mistakes) and be proud where I plan to go into the future.

God bless me and everyone please wish me luck. I need it.

Hollywood goes craptastic

Recently, a lot of movies in Hollywood are getting pretty cliche'd and we are really in need of something that extravagant and amazing. There are too many things that Hollywood produce are horrible nowadays (except for Crank and other Statham movies. Tongue) What we need next is something epic, magical, sci fi and what made the 80s and 90s a great period for movies. It's the awesomeness of the human imagination.

The last fantastical journey/epic thing we saw on the screen was probably Pirates of The Carribean which I thought was funny and truly a journey film. So was the Hellboy adaptations and LOTR.



The ingredients that made Hollywood great before:

1)Magic-Yes, magic is what the new generation needs. We need something that would blow your minds and leave your jaws wide open. I really hope that the Dr. Strange adaptation would be pretty good and so is the upcoming Thor adaptation. Magic and action could be combined and people should tap into this idea.



2)Extravagant sci fi ideas-Look at Star Wars. The new Star Trek and Terminator movie doesn't counts, we need a new original one. Something that would leave us awestruck. Something that would leave us amaze on how amazing the galaxy and what sci fi could do. Remember the days of Aliens and Predator? Yes, liked AVP but we need somethnig fresh that reminds us of Alien, Predator, Terminator, Star Wars and many more.





3)The adventure-An adventure is what makes a person inspired. Adventure stories like Indiana Jones really made me stunned when I was a kid, making me watching Harisson Ford screaming, damn that was awesome!



4)Ridiculousness- Crank 1 and 2 did it, why not other Hollywood movies? Sometimes you need to throw realism out, if not we wouldn't have Rambo or Stan Lee wouldn't be creating the Spiderman and now they want to do Spiderman movies more softer so that the audience can relate. We don't want that! We want something crazy that makes us glue to our sits. Make Venom jump 50 metres into the air and smash Spidey. That is what we want to see.



All Hollywood wants nowadays is something that is realistic, we want something crazy and innovative. If we wanted something realistic, we would read Times magazine. Yes, there are good movies like Watchmen etc but we need something more crazier and original from hollywood. When would Hollywood return to their Golden Age of Sci-fi. I hope they won't destroy the next Deadpool movie with ultra realism. I wan't him to wacky, wise cracking and explosive.

PS/Hollywood, there's a reason why your later James Bond movies sucked harder than an octopus and Shoot 'Em Up was an underground favourite.

To go or not to go?

Dilemma, dilemma bla3, choices, choices,


So my friend who was in the same company as me (Delta, Awie was in the same barracks as me) came and visited me in the afternoon. It was a long time since I met him. The last time I met him was probably before I went to UiTM. I wasn't even a Kesatria Commander at that time. Currently he's a Sergeant in the Police Cadets. So if I follow my old Police Cadet hierachy, he was my superior. Anyway, back to the story. He suggested that one day we should visit our old National Service Camp, Kem Putra Sentosa. I said okay and he told me to bring another company-mate of mine, Corporaal Saiful (The rank is from Police Cadets Corps too, not NS). He suggested that we should go there on the 30th and meet our old instructors.

I kind of miss the camp, there was a lot memories from there. I missed Sergeant Major Kamson's (RAMD) jokes. He's really funny. I could never forget how our Discipline Officer would punish us (1st Warrant Officer Isa). Man I sort of miss the days but I really hate the uniform. My Company Instructor (Ex-Ranger), En. Wahid was a great guy. Then again, there are some memories that I would not like to remember from there. I mean, the bad stuff did not actually happen in camp but it happened during the period I was in camp. A schoolmate of mine passed awat in that period, I quarreled with some people I loved and some people in camp did not like me because I had a rank there. So what? If you're jealous then it's up to you, I got it and you didn't face it.

M-16 rifles from camp

Another thing that is bugging me is that recently I received a letter from the Maritime Enforcement Agency (Malaysian version of Coast Guards) for an interview on the 26th. The interview though is not for an officer intake but it's for enlisted men (recruits). I was thinking of going just to see wheter I can make through the physical test but my Dad said I will be wasting my time there. I was thinking of joining as a recruit and take a semester leave from my studies. I finish basic training then I finish my studies. From there I could go for the rank of Maritime Lieutenant or I finish my diploma first and join basic training for the same rank. I'm not so sure if it was possible to do something like that. I know an Army guy doing something similar but at the same time he's a PALAPES instructor. He's Captain though if anyone is wondering what's his rank.

So should I do for the interview or don't. I'm scared I might regret joining service too early. I'm not so sure can I even continue my Kesatria activities if I follow this. Would I be stripped off from my rank and be barred to join Kesatria? Then again if I'm allowed to join I don't think so I will have the time as might have to go for trainings on weekends if what I predict about MMEA was right.

My squad, Batch 17

My family is a cross between a blog rant and Deadpool's pop culture references

My family is a cross between a blog rant and Deadpool's pop culture references

Seriously. Today my sister(s) (I have a theory that my sisters are actually clone of another but somebody messed around with the braincells which led to something equivalent to WW3, wait more like Family Wars, no Sopranos, no Rant War 3) got into a fight. Something about taking the food from the car and she started ranting. For more info (though some stuff are in Sarawakian) please refer here

No kidding, were that dramatic. I love how my sister comes up with the dialogues with her friends in the beggining. Makes me feel as if I'm reading something from Chris Ryan's dramatic parts of the Bravo 2 Fail novel. (What am I talking about?)

To add up what my sister (Experiment B-1992 Codenamed Esther) wrote in her database (pun no really intended), all hell broke lose. I decided to become the guy in the background cleaning the mess like you see in random ass movies where the hero/anti-hero are quarelling and a guy cleans up the background. The difference here is, there are no anti-hero/hero here (unless you count me in when I defeated a monkey in chess and that would be hero for goodness sake).

To clarify some stuff what Esther wrote (please don't be butt-hurt, I still want you as my sister okay, eventhough the family's all torn apart) here are some stuff I want to say about your blog:


1) Here are some stuff I would like to say. (Very repititve am I? Looks like I can't be a script writer) First I would like to clarify what you said in my crappy screen shot pic above from your blog.


a) Nothing to do with clarifying but, I love the way you use the word damsyik. lol Good command of Malay which isn't our mother tongue anyway.

b)I ate the cupcakes because I thought those were for breakfast. There was nothing else on the fucking table for goodness sake. Plus they look delicious and taste delicious. Thank you for making those cupcakes. You should take that as a compliment and you should feel honored that I ate that cupcake. At least you know it looks apetizing now. Now you can go into the cake business like Mummy only ommiting the Quantity Surveying part lol.

c) I did go for a diet a couple of times. Remember the X-Pax thing I did when I was your age? lol I bet you can't remember that. Or the tomato soup diet? lol Good times. I actually like tomato soup okay. Doesn't mean I finished the chilli sauce (maybe I shouldn't say that) I hate tomatoes. Who you think I am Jim Belushi? Cheryl's hot for a mother of 3 though. Okay, that's way out of context.

d)I never said that my weight problem was a genetic thing. Who you think you are? Proffessor Xavier, Ian McKellen? Ben Kingsley? (Reminds me of Ian though and not IAN WRIGHT!) Okay, I'm hadling the weight issue just fine and I still can do a lot of activities with this belly of steel (more like jelly) okay. So I'm fatter than you, so what? At least I can still march, do obstacle runs and still not big as fat that boomer thing for the game Left For Dead.

2)Another speech of yours.

a)I did not tell you to take care of my download thing. I let you use my computer. I does not need taking care of. It is not a baby okay! But I have to say thank you for leaving my laptop on.

b)Sleep/Hibernating mode. I wasn't even angry. I was just complaining to myself but still letting the whole world hear aka I was being a whiny bitch because I just sat for a paper and not sure wheter I could even pass that fucking shit. When somebody says measuring stuff for a building and calculating it's cost is easy, they're just bullshiting you. I know, cause I've been through the valley of measurements of death of Valhalla of Asgard of Hell. It's a cross between fitghting Vikings with a calculator while Cerebrus is chasing your ass. It's that hard so I had to complain about something. Come on, I was just complaining about some tiny stuff and you're hurt. Come on, I'll take back those words but I won't cook a cheesecake for you. Mum's cheesecake is better than mine okay.

c) I ate you cheesy wedges because I was starving and mum told me the food is on the table. So I ate it. How am I supposed to know those are yours. Come, on the Colonel didn't even talk to me, unlike the Lt. Colonel in my camp back in the days who kept on telling me to loose weight or I'll die in the battlefield (I felt like Gobber Pile from Full Metal Jacket just that I'm crazy in a different kind of way. Nerd-ish crazy). PS/You don't want to meet that Lt.
Conclusion: Just go back home and forget all the shitty things we've been through. Come on, what you went through is as shitty as my early teenage years. You never went through cops, shoplifting, extortion cases bla3 and almost got kicked out of school but transfered to another school thingy. I went through that and look at me, I still don't hate Mum and Dad I still stay at home (not to say that's a good thing) But the point is, we are a family and don't you dare break that. Our family is practically torn apart already (refer to the number of divorces in our family and the number of people having diseases) and please don't tear 'em apart again. Stop complaining that your life is falling into a spiral cause it's not! It's still okay and let's maintain family while were at it. For goodness sake you don't even have a crime record like I do.


Now I've succeeded in writing a useless rant about my family. I need to go back to my comic stock and imagine I'm in mutant land saving ladies 10 times hotter than Red Sonja or that cute girl from My Boss My Hero. Tata. See you in the next rant.